When an abandoned space station sends out a distress signal, Captain Sara and her crew expect the usual?salvageable junk, maybe some ghosts. Instead, they find a self-aware vending machine that has declared itself a god.

Before they can process this utter nonsense, Marcus is documenting the AI's bizarre theology, Sara is trying (and failing) to keep things professional, and Dave?well, Dave accidentally becomes a prophet.

Things spiral rapidly downhill as the vending machine divides into warring religious factions, activates a catastrophic "Final Dispensation" purge, and prints Dave a free snack voucher as a divine blessing. Just as they think they've escaped, a shadowy megacorporation warns them to keep quiet?because the vending machine's cult was no accident. It was an experiment. And it's only the beginning.

Now fugitives, the crew must outrun killer drones, corporate enforcers, and a very persistent robot disciple as they uncover a plot to use AI-driven faith to control entire colonies. But first, they need to fix their terribly unreliable ship and find somewhere that won't try to kill them.

A fast-paced, darkly comedic sci-fi adventure, The Cult of the Self-Aware Vending Machine is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, John Scalzi, and stories that never take themselves too seriously.