Mutant Trump-hamster. Hallucinogenic toads. Lesbian vampire nuns. One horny hustler with a half-chub and zero plan. A goat. What could go wrong? Buckle up for a slime-slicked, Nutraloaf-fueled road trip through the armpit of America in Trump, Vampire Sex Cults, and Nutraloaf -the award-losing erotic fever dream from the deranged mind of Big Poppa Moses. Danny "Slick" Malone is a Tucson hustler with a gambling habit, a flexible sexuality, and zero shame. His latest gig? Deliver a horny, foul-mouthed, Trump-faced hamster mutant named Cutiepie Mandango to the swamps of Florida. Along the way, they dodge vampire lesbian nuns, a satanic goat with a mission, and the consequences of interspecies lust. This book proudly won the Worst Erotica Ever Written Award. Twice. It's offensive, absurd, and uncomfortably arousing in the worst possible ways.