Are you tired of pretending to understand philosophers who write like they're being paid per syllable of confusion? This book is your revenge. In 50 Philosophers You'll Regret Reading, author Sophia Blackwell takes a sledgehammer to the ivory tower with biting wit, dark humor, and no patience for footnote fetishism. From the cosmic gibberish of Parmenides to Derrida's textual striptease, this is the ultimate roast of Western philosophy's most unreadable minds. ¿¿ Kant's 800-page snoozefest? Ripped to shreds. ¿¿ Nietzsche's gym-bro metaphysics? Dismantled with flair. ¿¿ Husserl's bracketed nightmare? Unbracketed, unhinged, and exposed. With each chapter, you'll meet one of history's "great" thinkers-then watch their ideas implode under the weight of their own self-importance. No reverence. No mercy. Just sharp, irreverent commentary from someone who's had enough of being told these books are "essential reading." Whether you're a philosophy dropout, a smug academic, or just someone who once tried to read Being and Time and ended up crying into a thesaurus, this book will validate every frustrated groan you've ever had in the presence of a philosopher who thinks clarity is for cowards. Warning: Contains savage takes, too many references to ontological migraines, and the lingering suspicion that maybe-just maybe-you're smarter than you thought.