"This book will have a quite broad audience... Gratifying level of surprises and loving twists on usage... Nice range of humor, from slapstick to self-reflective." -Sue Ducharme, TextWorks

Welcome to the latest word on atrocious English, from wierd - er, weird - spelling to idiotomatic expressions to modest proposals for change, wherein we tackle such pressing contemporary English language issues as:

• Did sh*t ever actually hit a fan?
• Once and for all, who's the smartest: brain surgeons or rocket scientists?
• Which is the more persuasive: having someone over a barrel or by the balls?
• What difference is there, if any, between an old coot, an old fogey and an old geezer - and while we're on the subject, do we still need to employ the adjective "old"?
• When is it wiser to go with "I don't give a rat's a*s" over "I don't give a flying f*ck"?
• Taken together, are "No way Jose" and "Yesiree Bob" racist?
• What's the point of saying "It is what it is" when in all of human history it's never once happened that something is what it isn't?