What's required for a conservative, conventionally trained anesthesiologist to access feelings he had walled off to protect himself from childhood trauma? In Dr. Balint's case, it took breaking his neck-literally and figuratively. Dive in with him as he ventures into the depths of pain and despair, where he confronts the thought, "There has to be something else here." Suddenly, his nightly dreams, plant medicines, embodied inquiry, and spiritual teachings began to mentor him instead of the dog-eat-dog mentality and worn-out, guilt-laden religious beliefs that previously ruled his life. This profound shift in perspective, from suppression to exploration offers hope and inspiration. Little by little, he recognizes himself not only as fallible and mortal Bart but also as the substratum beneath everyone and everything, both knowable and inconceivable. This reawakens him to the underlying, playful joy that he is.