I should be dead.Many times throughout my short time on earth, I should have died. I, Sackie Kwalalon, have often asked myself this question: "Why am I alive?" I remember the experiences I had during the fourteen-year Liberian Civil War and wonder why God allowed me to survive when so many others did not. I lived and others died. Is this fair? What about the families who no longer have a husband or a father? Should they consider themselves unlucky, while I should consider myself the lucky one? You might think I should be happyI lived through these terrible events, but this is not always the case. The truth is, I live each day with the memories. I live with the nightmares.