This alternative (and dark) collection of found poetry (primarily blackout) explores one LGBTQ+ woman's story as she navigated through struggles with mental health, gender identity/orientation, and societal acceptance. Through the deconstruction of an early draft version of the author's forthcoming novel, each poem touches on the emotions and challenges faced in the wake of coming out as queer. Through the dark, and sometimes unbearable, internal conflict and the pressure of the outside world wanting her to be different than she was... these words capture her very difficult struggle for belonging. The poet navigates the complexities of sexuality, medical interventions, and the allure of escapism through sex, drugs, and alcohol. Each word was selected for inclusion or blackout, page by page (word order not changed) in order to tell this story of survival in the face of homophobia. A testament to the power of expression and how transforming (and sharing) a text can be emotionally transformative, and help to shine a light into the darkness.