A memoir of first love, first lust, first heartbreak – and the many disappointments in between.

Rosemary Mac Cabe was always a serial monogamist – never happier than when she was in a relationship or, at the very least, on the way to being in one. But in her desperate search for ‘the one’ – from first love to first lust, through a series of disappointments and the searing sting of heartbreak – she learned that finding love might mean losing herself along the way.

This Is Not About You is a life story in a series of love stories. About Henry, with the big nose and the lovely mum, with whom sex was like having a verruca frozen off in the doctor’s surgery: ‘uncomfortable, but I had entered into this willingly’. About Dan, with the goatee. About Luke, who gave her a split condom. About Frank, who was married…

But mostly, it’s about Rosemary, figuring out just how much she was willing to sacrifice for her happy ending.

For once, these men are the objects; I am the subject. Me, me, me. Rosemary Mac Cabe was always a serial monogamist - never happier than when she was in a relationship or, at the very least, on the way to being in one. But in her desperate search for 'the one' - from first love to first lust, through a series of disappointments and the searing sting of heartbreak - she learned that finding love might mean losing herself along the way. This Is Not About You is a life story in a series of love stories. About Henry, with the big nose and the lovely mum, with whom sex was like having a verruca frozen off in the doctor's surgery: 'uncomfortable, but I had entered into this willingly'. About Dan, with the goatee. About Luke, who gave her a split condom. About Frank, who was married...But mostly, it's about Rosemary, figuring out just how much she was willing to sacrifice for her happy ending.