New York Times bestseller with over 4 million copies sold, now fully revised with new insights and lasting wisdom for couples
"This soulful and practical handbook helped us build a foundational template for our marriage." ?Grammy award-winning singer and songwriter Alanis Morissette & rapper Souleye
"Take in these time-tested practical steps to love and enjoy the freedom and closeness you deserve." ? Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Mindsight Institute and New York Times bestselling author
Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended every day by professional therapists and happy couples around the world. Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt explain how to revive romance and remove negativity from daily interactions, to help you:
· Discover why you chose your mate
· Resolve the power struggle that prevents greater intimacy
· Learn to listen - really listen - to your partner
· Increase fun and laughter in your relationship
· Begin healing early childhood experiences by stretching into new behaviors
· Become passionate friends with your partner
· Achieve a common vision of your dream relationship
Become the most connected couple you know with this revolutionary guide, combining behavioral science, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neuroscience to help you and your partner recapture joy, enhance closeness, and experience the reward of a deeply fulfilling relationship.
Harvill i Helen perezhili neudachnye braki: ih predydushchie otnosheniya ne spasli ni rozhdenie detej, ni konsul'tacii s psihoterapevtami. Harvill zhazhdal najti otvet na glavnyj vopros: v chem prichina konfliktov, krizisov i rasstavanij suprugov, nekogda tak sil'no lyubivshih drug druga. On chuvstvoval, chto, pomimo vneshnih problem, est' nekaya glubinnaya prichina, i hotel vsestoronne ee izuchit'. Helen podderzhala ego v etom nachinanii. Oni obrazovali ne tol'ko semejnyj, no i professional'nyj soyuz.
Lyubov' - eto stremlenie obresti garmoniyu, kotoruyu my oshchushchali, nahodyas' v materinskoj utrobe. Stalkivayas' s real'nost'yu, my teryaem oshchushchenie bezopasnosti, s kotorym prihodim v etot mir. Kazhdyj raz, kogda roditel' otdalyaetsya ot svoego rebenka, ne zamechaya, naprimer, ego placha, rebenok perezhivaet boleznennyj opyt razryva svyazi s blizkim chelovekom, a v lyubvi my pytaemsya vnov' etu svyaz' obresti. My vosproizvodim negativnyj opyt proshlogo, zhelaya na etot raz «vyjti pobeditelem», iscelit' svoyu detskuyu travmu. Odnako neosoznannye ozhidaniya ne vsegda opravdyvayutsya, i v itoge my poluchaem problemy v semejnoj zhizni: suprugi vnov' perezhivayut svoi detskie problemy, teper' uzhe v otnosheniyah s partnerami. Otsyuda i konflikty, i krizisy, i razvody.
Harvill i Helen predlagayut sposob ispravleniya situacii. Eto Imago-psihoterapiya, napravlennaya na uluchshenie vzaimodejstviya s partnerom. Klyuchevuyu rol' v nej igraet dialog. Polozhitel'nyj opyt obshcheniya s partnerom drevnij mozg kodiruet v novyh svyazyah mezhdu kletkami golovnogo mozga. Chem bol'she takih polozhitel'nyh vzaimodejstvij, tem prochnee stanovitsya novyj put', a staryj i razrushitel'nyj - tot, kotoryj voznik eshche v detstve, - nachnet teryat' silu (mezhdu kletkami techet men'she messendzherov) i sposobnost' vmeshivat'sya v vashi otnosheniya. V rezul'tate para prihodit k osoznannomu partnerstvu - otnosheniyam, kotorye harakterizuyutsya vzaimnoj podderzhkoj i sposobstvuyut psihologicheskomu i duhovnomu rostu oboih partnerov.
